“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek.
In today’s workplace, empathy has emerged as a vital skill. The old transactional style of leadership is giving way to a more humanistic one, where leaders are expected to connect on a personal level with their teams.
According to a recent Gallup poll, organisations with emotionally intelligent leaders see a 20% increase in productivity, highlighting the growing demand for leaders who can balance emotional connection with performance. Daniel Goleman’s research on emotional intelligence emphasises the role of empathy — that powerful emotional alignment between leaders and their teams that generates trust, belonging, and commitment.
But while empathy helps leaders understand their people on a deep level, it can have its pitfalls. As Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter of Potential Project explain in their book Compassionate Leadership, too much empathy can lead to caring avoidance or emotional hijacking, where leaders avoid tough decisions to protect people or become so entangled in others’ emotions that they lose objectivity. The key, then, is to connect with empathy and build relationships, but lead with compassion — to be caring yet courageous, feeling deeply without losing clarity of purpose.
Let’s explore how leaders can do this effectively, starting with the fundamental aspect of empathetic connecting.
Being Fully Present: Generating Interpersonal Data
Empathy starts with presence — being fully there for those you lead. Leaders who show up mentally and emotionally are able to pick up on unspoken concerns, anxieties, or motivations that may not surface in regular conversations. It’s not just about listening to the words; it’s about tuning in to the subtle cues that reveal the emotional temperature of the team.
Take Mary Barra, CEO of General Motors. Barra’s leadership has been marked by her ability to listen and be present with employees, especially during moments of crisis. During the GM ignition switch crisis, she made it a point to really be present with employees, dealers and customers, gathering critical insights that helped her navigate the company through reputational challenges. Her presence helped restore trust at a time when GM’s credibility was at risk.
If you think about your own team, how often are you truly present with them? When you engage in conversation, are you gathering the unspoken emotional data that might reveal deeper concerns or motivations? Leaders who master presence are able to spot potential issues early, but presence is not a one-time action — it’s a consistent practice.
Authentic and Open Sharing: Leading with Vulnerability
Empathy doesn’t only flow in one direction. Leaders who are willing to share authentically create a reciprocal environment where team members feel encouraged to do the same. Vulnerability from a leader can break down hierarchical barriers, allowing for more honest conversations and deeper connections.
Rose Marcario, former CEO of Patagonia, demonstrated this in her approach to leadership. By openly sharing her passion for sustainability and the ethical challenges the company faced, she built an organization rooted in transparency and shared values. Her vulnerability not only humanised her leadership but also inspired employees to align with Patagonia’s broader mission of doing good for the planet.
When was the last time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with your team? Sharing personal struggles, learning moments, or even uncertainties can be incredibly powerful. I remember when I told my team I was facing a health issue that had been causing me to show up a bit off-centre. It took courage, but it really built trust. Are you showing enough of your authentic self to foster real connection, or are you keeping a professional distance?
Creating and Holding Space: Active Listening
One of the core elements of empathetic connecting is active listening — the ability to truly hear and understand someone’s perspective without interruption or judgment. John Donahoe, CEO of Nike, has built his leadership around this principle, regularly holding “listening sessions” with employees. By creating space for people to express their concerns and ideas, Donahoe has helped foster a culture of inclusion and trust at Nike.
Holding space isn’t just about being silent while someone else speaks. It’s about making sure that your team members feel heard, valued, and understood. Think about your last conversation with a team member. Did you listen actively, or were you already formulating your response? Do you allow others enough room to fully express themselves, or do you unintentionally steer the conversation?
Emotional Intelligence: Harnessing and Regulating Emotions
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the foundation of empathetic leadership. It enables leaders to understand their own emotions as well as those of their teams, and to regulate their emotional responses under pressure. Leaders with high EI don’t just react — they respond thoughtfully, even in the heat of the moment.
Dharmesh Shah, co-founder of HubSpot, has frequently spoken about the importance of emotional regulation in leadership. His emphasis on kindness and emotional awareness has been instrumental in creating a culture at HubSpot that feels safe, even during times of rapid growth. Shah’s ability to harness and regulate his emotions has helped the company maintain its status as one of the best places to work.
For more on this topic, see my article on Emotional Mastery.
Cultural Intelligence: Understanding Contexts and Differences
In today’s globalised workplace, understanding cultural contexts is as important as emotional intelligence. Cultural Intelligence (CQ) allows leaders to navigate differences in values, communication styles, and expectations across diverse teams. Leaders who excel at CQ create more inclusive environments, where all voices are respected.
Zhou Qunfei, the founder of Lens Technology, exemplifies this. Coming from a humble background, she built a global empire through her ability to adapt to diverse cultural contexts, whether dealing with Western partners or leading her largely Chinese workforce. Her sensitivity to different cultural nuances helped her grow her company into a global leader in smartphone screen manufacturing.
As a leader, how well do you understand the cultural dynamics of your team? Do you recognize how cultural differences might influence communication, trust, and decision-making? Erin Meyer's book 'Culture Map' is incredible on this topic. She also has a cool tool where you can get a quick understanding of different cultures, depending on who's showing up in an important meeting. Try it out next time you're preparing for an important multicultural meeting.
Compassion: Leading with Intention
While empathy connects us to others, compassion enables leaders to take action. Compassion allows leaders to feel for their teams while maintaining the emotional distance needed to make tough decisions. It’s not about avoiding the hard choices — it’s about making them in a way that serves both the individual and the greater good.
Arne Sorenson, the late CEO of Marriott International, embodied compassionate leadership. During the COVID-19 pandemic, he took a 50% pay cut to minimize layoffs at Marriott, even while making difficult financial decisions. His compassion showed that caring for employees and making tough calls are not mutually exclusive; rather, they can coexist when done with the right intention.
Think about your last difficult decision. Were you able to balance empathy with the need to act? Compassionate leadership is about making decisions that may not always be popular but are necessary for the long-term health of the business.
Conclusion: Connect with Empathy, Lead with Compassion
Leadership in today’s world requires more than just results-driven focus. Empathy allows leaders to build strong connections with their teams, but compassion ensures those connections lead to courageous, thoughtful action.
As poet David Whyte wisely reflects, “Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, with another, with a community, a work, a future.” True leadership then, requires the courage to feel deeply while acting decisively. When leaders strike this balance, they build resilient, human-centered workplaces where both flourishing employees and hard results are simultaneously possible.
Get in touch if you'd like to cultivate your empathy and compassion. I specialise in this topic with 1000s of leaders in bluechip corporations.
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